Relationship Rules For Men

We all wish for a perfect relationship. Most of us at the beginning, either as a child, or later as an adult, we imagine that marriage is going to be the idyllic relationship…

You meet the perfect person- you have that feeling – that feeling of your heart going into your stomach, or your stomach going into you heart, or changing places or something like that. But the reality never quite lives up to the fantasy.

After you are married, the fantasy can take a nose dive – reality sets in. But there are some things that you can do to improve a relationship. Certain rules that, if followed, can help keep the relationship machine well oiled.

The following article will briefly explain three rules, that if followed, can help to maintain and improve any relationship. These rules are directed towards the weaker sex …of course I mean you men.
 

Three Tips for a Great Relationship

The three rules are

  • The yes-dear rule
  • The no fat rule
  • The always-wrong rule

 

Rule 1: The Yes Dear rule

This is really a very simple-not always so easy to follow. My wife has her own twist on this rule. She is from Japan-she calls it the hai! Rule. She says as long as you say hai (yes in Japanese), every thing will be ok.

What I am saying is men, give your partner what she needs and wants- within reason. And I am not talking about material things. Sometimes simple things can make a huge difference in a marriage.

Research shows that relationships where the man shares in the housework are more likely to succeed. Women see a man doing housework as part of being connected, being loving.

There is also research evidence to show that healthy and happy marriages have space to allow the woman to be in control. This is because women naturally allow men to be in control. The reverse shows more balance and equality. If you treat your wife like a queen, generally, she will treat you like a king.
 

Rule 2: The No Fat Rule

Your wife is standing in front of a mirror, you know, your getting ready to go out… (we’ve all been there!) and she says, “Honey… honey, do these pants make me look fat?” When I hear that, “…honey,” I’m like a prairie dog – popping out of his hole – hyper alert!

You know prairie dogs are very good at identifying and responding to danger – they have different alarm calls for different kinds of predators – also different escape behaviors for different kinds of dangers. They are like little savant rodents.

Guys, if prairie dogs can do it. Danger, danger Will Robinson!

There is an enemy in your house and it is fat!

But really, what I am really saying here is that, there are times when your partner may feel somewhat insecure, unsure, and it is a your job (if you want to be happy) to support her – hold her up when she needs it. Often, when she is standing in front of that mirror is one of those times.
 

Rule 3: The Always-Wrong Rule

Even if we are right, we are wrong. Recently, I was meeting with a client of mine – (in my role as a marriage therapist), I’ll call him George. George was sitting with me – he and his wife generally came together – (their relationship was in real trouble), but today he was alone.

In the midst of a discussion about these terrible arguments they would have, George said, “I know the answer doc – all I would have to do is say, I’m sorry honey, I’m such a jerk!” I sat starring at him – really flabbergasted – thinking, you would rather sit here with an old bald guy, paying him big bucks to talk about this, than to simply say Sorry, I am such a jerk? (By the way, he is 52 and his wife is 24.)

I said, “Really is that all?”

Then he said with disdain, “Yea, but I would have to do it all the time!”

I believe that taking responsibility and saying he was sorry would have solved most of his marital problems. Is this really so much to ask for a happy relationship?

Much of this article was written tongue in cheek, but the basic rules still apply.

To sum up – the yes dear rule: be agreeable, pay attention and give your partner what she needs. Believe it or not, the more you give, the less the demands that will be placed on you.

The no fat rule: When she doubts herself, make sure you she knows you don’t doubt her. Hold her up; help boost her self-esteem when she needs it.

The always wrong rule: don’t be too proud to say you are wrong- doesn’t really matter if you are or not – its just ego that tells us to stand our ground for the sake of being right. Sometimes being right is tantamount to being alone.

There is no perfect relationship. But keep a few simple ideas in mind and you can have a rich and loving relationship that lasts the test of time.