Love is All You Need – Not!

In so many ways we are bombarded daily with the idea that being in a relationship is about love. We get this message through movies, music, and in everyday discussions with others. Love is all you need, love conquers all. What is commonly called love is most often infatuation- that feeling that you get when you meet someone to whom you are attracted, a person with whom you have strong chemistry. This intense feeling is like being superhuman, being at one with the universe. You are on cloud nine! And over time you may even develop an attachment that we interpret as love. If it feels good it must be love!

We are taught that if you are “in love” that everything else will just work.

But these feeling fade, shift, and change too much to be reasons to choose a person to marry.

But the reality is that love is not enough (in a long term committed relationship).

Don’t get me wrong, love is important in a relationship. You must care about your partner, wish to take care of them, want to see them succeed, grow, and be happy. ┬áChemistry is the glue that holds a relationship together. But being in love is just one piece of being in a happy committed relationship!

Early in a relationship your heart might say “this is the one”. Emotions like love are powerful in how they affect us. Being in love, in the early stages is a lot like being on coaine. You can’t think clearly, you may think about your new love all the time- obsessively. Seeing that special person makes you feel great; being away from them casues a withdrawal. it is powerful brains chemicals that are suppose to draw us together. So, if you make life altering decisions based solely on emotion, the chances of failure are high.

First, you must understand that, despite what your brain chemistry is telling you, love is not enough. In fact it is less about love than it is about using the more rational parts of your brain, at least when it comes to making decisions about life long commitment. You must use your heart and your head! Unfortunately,┬ámost people┬áreally don’t know what guidelines to use in finding a life partner and I often see people make terrible decisions when it come to love.

Relationship coaching for singles can help you to clarify your vision in relationship- the key to finding happiness and fulfillment! Don’t let love blow you arond like a leaf on a stong breeze. make decisions that are good for you in the long run. Check out some coaching or counseling if you need some assistance in making these life altering decisions- like choosing a life partner.