Relationship Rescue Program

Is Your Relationship in Serious Trouble?

Marriage and intimate relationships are a fundamental part of our lives and actually fundamental to our existence. Yet we have a divorce rate of over 50%. We suffer horribly when our marriage is in trouble

Where is your relationship going? Are you on a path you wish to be traveling or a path that is leading to divorce?

Don’t become yet another statistic! It is possible to repair your relationship and “rekindle” love.

There are many ways couples can come to the point of divorce. Conflict is one of the most common. People who love each other can also be incredibly cruel and hurtful.

If you are reading this, your relationship is probably already in trouble. If you are a “high conflict couple” where arguments occur frequently, there is a high chance of doing damage to the relationship. This is especially the case if arguments are characterized by the 4 horsemen. Here are the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse (Gottman & Silver, 1999)- If you experience arguments with any of these characteristics, you are at high risk…  These ways of dealing with conflict tend to repeat over and over and can do irreparable damage over time.

DefensivenessDo you feel constantly on the defense or argue together to the point that both you and your partner are blaming the other? If so,  your relationship is in serious trouble.
Defending oneself is normal when feeling attacked, but it is not just the act of putting up a defensive wall that your partner can’t get through. It becomes attacking and retaliation. Some ways people ward off attacks is through making accusations, cross complaining, yes butting, and others.

Criticism: Do you feel that your character is being criticized or do you criticize your partner, pointing to them as being bad or totally at fault?
Criticism of the person, their character, their personality is damaging not only to your partner, but it does damage to the relationship over time and increases the level of defensiveness. Many couples have complaints about their partner but complaints are very different than criticism. Particularly if a marriage is going south, criticism can be poison that eats away at the foundation of the relationship.

Contempt: Being demeaned or demeaning and insulting your partner with name calling or hostile humor can be a death toll for a marriage.
Name calling, hostile humor or sarcasm, and certain types of body language and tone of voice (rolling of eyes, sneering, etc.) This is criticism on steroids.

Stonewalling: Do you or your partner withdraw from conflict and then never return to the issues so they can be resolved. This builds resentment and hostility over time.
Withdrawal to avoid conflict – e.g. stony silence, muttering under your breath, changing the subject without explanation, removing yourself physically- without explanation. Some people go silent as a means of avoiding the conflict. Some use silence like a weapon of punishment. In either case, Stonewalling blocks needed connection, intimacy and most importantly repair.

If you are experiencing one or more of these behaviors in your marriage regularly or you feel that your relationship suffers from other troubling, relationships threating issues, now is the time to act and save your relationship before one or both of you flee the sinking ship.

The Relationship Rescue Program

This program begins with at least one 3 hour session (the first session), then perhaps several more that are 2 hours or more in length. The subsequent sessions frequency and length are decided upon together with Dr. Davis. The intensity and power of these sessions tend to diffuse conflict and begins the repair process. When the conflict has subsided to a level that the couple can manage without doing further damage, then the longer term healing process can begin. Sessions can be shorter and sometimes spread and less frequent.

Contact Dr. Davis Now for More Information- 407-351-5660.

 

References
J. Gottman and N. Silver, The Seven Principles for Making a Marriage Work. Crown, New York, 1999.